When the pandemic started, I got divorced, started healing trauma ... and started questioning EVERYTHING.

How did I want to live my life?

Oufff A LOT of things had to go.

My awakening journey FELT like a freight train that derailed and took out with it every structure I had previously worked so hard to build. 

My identity. How I operated my life on the daily, my relationships, where I lived, my friends I mean EVERYTHING, every fear I was terrified to face ALONE ... I faced. Every fucking dark shadow, every limitation. Looking back I wouldn't trade a SINGLE experience or wish it to have been any different.

I'm a seeker of truth, a visionary and artist at heart. Like an artist in love with BEAUTY it takes many forms.

Surrendering to this was a HOLY WAR. An inner battle of the psyche. Carl Jung's work on the individuation and maturation of the psyche, the dark decent into the unconscious for the direct experience of GOD and ultimate wholeness. The "Individuation" from your parents unconscious projections. An expanding EXPERIENCE of the nature of consciousness, deep, rich and filled with meaning... the SOULS expression. 

What a perfect messy stunningly beautiful journey it has been.  I could do the hustle big business boss babe thing but BE an artist and just STOP doing all the shit I hated and only do the things I love? 

Can you REALLY just do that? #TakeYourPowerBackNow

Hahah I'm an artist with Consciousness too, and a visionary leader & teacher. 

In all seriousness ... the individuation and maturation process is an anguishing experience of death upon death upon death where the only thing one can do is SURRENDER. An exploration of the deep unconscious is beyond terrifying and for someone who prided myself for teaching confidence and cash flow strategies to women for 15 years this total unraveling left me feeling anything BUT confident. I felt like the death would never end.

What I discovered is that to HOLD a larger consciousness requires a complete devastation of the OLD container. We have a body but we are not the body. We are BOTH masculine and feminine energies. As the SOUL comes online it REQUIRES..... requires a larger HOUSE, a larger container, the container of the SELF of SOUL. You can't have that expression if you are filled with trauma and triggers running your life. It is the process of the caterpillar entering the cocoon and emerging a magical winged creature the butterfly. My name in latin "Vaness" in latin means butterfly. How fitting.

You're going to need to be REALLY tuned into your BODY & its WISDOM in order to DO that to OBEY those intuitive hits. The more trauma I became aware of and integrated the more my intuition came on like out of this world intuition, it scared the living shit out of me.  I also experienced nuclear creative expression, like there were days I could't hit the record button on the iPhone I was dancing furiously in my kitchen I'm surprised the roof didn't blow off the house the energy was NUCLEAR! 

Such is what happens when we unlock unleash repressed energy from the unconscious.

My journey into looking at emotional incest and its impact on my life brought me face to face with a lot of shadows, repressed sensuality sexuality, and ART photography, dance and creative expression as a healing technology to move through this individuation process through various archetypes, the mother, the maiden, the priestess or goddess the whore the lover the witch the crone... the integration of the shadows we reject, abandon or project onto others in an attempt to KNOW thyself. Facinating.

I didn't sleep for 2 years so I decided to begin journaling my dreams when I awoke in the middle of the night to make sense of it. I have a box filled with my dreams I began analyzing. I came to see I was not crazy after all I was simply going through the process of individuation. There is a whole body of work already in place Marion Woodman's work a student of Carl Jung's... and I intuitively went through it in my own way. Even a tattoo on my arm SURRENDER and the butterfly.

The process was terrifying, but then again my visions have always scared me so what else is new. Take Your Power Back Now overcome fear and thrive, right? Right!

Your BODY is a gateway the Goddess gateway... to the NEXT EVOLUTION OF YOU.

It has ALL the wisdom you need if you SLOW down enough to decipher what it's trying to tell you. Tapping into NATURE, the cycles and rhythms of life mirror NATURE. So much power in nature. I get my best ideas, hands in the dirt gardening. 

Awakening or individuating aint for sisies let m tell you .... strap your titles on tight lover! I am a researcher and invest my time researching large swaths of information on a variety of topics. I can speak to you through various levels ...looking at attachment theory, shadow work, death & rebirth, reinvention, individuation of the psyche, twin flames, human design, astrology, yoga, stories from the Bible .... I find many sources saying the same thing. Many many roads to Rome but truth is the truth.

This Next Evolution of Me/You lost 25 lbs of inflammation ( trauma creates inflammation in the body), BOUGHT n SOLD houses, found new ways to put my money to work for me instead of working so har for money. Learnt how to sit with darkness and not be so dang afraid of it.

When we can HOLD the paradox of duality we transform. When we can old and LOOK at instead of identify with the contradictions inside ourselves we END the WAR we see outside ourself because all of life is a reflection. There is nobody else out there but YOU... reflecting YOU... ALL DAY LONG.

I visited psychics, dove into healing trauma, setting healthy boundaries with self and others as well as releasing the self imposed boundaries that kept me hostage to a life that was no longer fitting. I studied astrology, human design, learning about twin flames, art & expression, feminine & masculine energy dynamics, UFO's I mean somebody out there had to have an answer for what was happening to me. Is this what awakening is? What is gonna goo goo man what is going on here?

Is the whole planet going through this awakening? Is it just me? Why am I here at this time on the planet? What does God want me to do NOW?

We can RESIST or CONTROL and suffer ... or surrender to it ALL and let the magic carpet ride begin. When your SOUL is coming online the only thing you can do is SURRENDER. 

Ah the ART of Surrender.

I noticed a thing or two about my clients, all CHANNELS, intuitives, spiritual teachers, mystics, visionary leaders ...reflections of me, we're all one on this crazy trip around the Sun digesting burp fart "Duality". And the whole planet is waking up too, trying to make sense of it, process it and hopefully make some kind of sense of our purpose, help  people, not get freaked out by the insanity going on out there and ENJOY the freaking ride! Presence is the calm we bring to this crazy storm.

My exploration transformation and healing I hope you will also see as a reflection of you.

We can let the OLD versions of ourselves, the fear, the shame, the trauma and conditioning hold us hostage. We can wear a MASK or risk just being who we REALLY are... and let LOVE LEAD us out of darkness and into the light. 

Who would we be without the dang story... of good or bad? What if everything is working out for your absolute HIGHEST expression and expansion? What if we played life FULL OUT to WIN, to experience it ALL, instead of playing it not to lose?

Always a choice. Always just a decision away.

I love helping women birth new beginnings. Sometimes all we need is the courage to START. And the courage to let DIE let GO of what needs to die. Ahh... back to the creative process.

When women tune in and TRUST this creative process, movements are birthed, THAT IS the process. The healing journey, the awakening, the ascension ... the Art of Surrendering to the Next Evolution of YOU!

TRUST, there's so much magic in new beginnings. 

My journey I hope you will join me in the various communities and courses, retreats and workshops offered here on this site, online and in person.

At the moment I am DEEP in the research of individuation and Jung's work. I decided to open a COMMUNITY the Next Evolution of You CONVERSATIONS a paid community where the work can continue through community, meeting like minded spiritual warriors, to connect collaborate share and dialogue this journey of awakening. 

The wisdom of NATURE, standards & serenity, transformation, healing arts and awakening ascention ... ALL the things I tried that allowed me to move through heavy emotions of pain, grief, loss and win the war within myself. Reinvention.

A lot of what I discovered was NEW forms of expression, dancing, photography, REST & receiving more, painting, creativity ... radical new ways of getting trauma out of the BODY. 

As always my intention is to create a safe space learning / experience, community for women to be seen and heard, heal shame, Take Your Power Back NOW and birth the Next Evolution of You... hope you join us on this wild ride of reinvention, peaceful profits without the hustle, out of this world intuition, nuclear creativity, owning your divine feminine grace, wisdom and sensuality. Living your God given purpose at this very important time on the planet. We are in a time of spiritual warfare. And I AM ...showing the fuck up! 

See you on the inside lover!

Vanessa xx